


Turning The Page

by intoapuddle



Category: Glee RPF
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-06-24
Updated: 2013-06-24
Packaged: 2017-12-16 01:08:02
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,046
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/856029
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/intoapuddle/pseuds/intoapuddle
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Based on a prompt from tumblr user alittledizzy: “Glee is over, one of them finally asks the other one a date. Like sort of fluffy but also there’s all this history for them so it’s a little bit angsty too even if they’re both happy and then uh maybe 1sttime smut.”</p><p>NC-17 Chris/Darren. Frottage & blow job. Some light angst, some fluff, some smut.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Turning The Page

It started with a touch of hands.

A simple brush of knuckles.

They’d been standing next to each other during a day on set when they accidentally bumped hands. It had made Chris’s skin tingle and flutter. When he looked up he met Darren’s round hazel eyes, and he hadn’t been able to keep his face from breaking into a too-giddy smile.

Darren smiled back.

Chris’s heart beat harder accordingly.

~*~

Darren was pretty distant at first.

He smiled and he never complained. He acted the scenes he was handed during season two of Glee wonderfully, but there was something not quite there about him.

He shied away when Chris invited him to meet the other cast members. He avoided looking Chris in the eyes when they didn’t have scenes together. Whenever they got the opportunity to do a behind the scenes interview together Chris jumped on it, but Darren just smiled that shy smile and laughed in a way that Chris couldn’t read. It wasn’t out of awkwardness, or to be polite, but it wasn’t quite genuine either. His behavior reminded Chris of how some fans reacted when they met him in real life, all starstruck. But Darren couldn’t be starstruck by Chris, could he?

Chris didn’t mind, though. He was happy about the few times Darren didn’t act all uptight and bashful. He was happy about the times that Darren’s hand brushed against Chris’s when no one else saw.

He was happy about those times, because they were far from accidental.

~*~

When Darren was cast as Kurt’s supposed love interest, Chris had initially felt intimidated and disappointed. He had been fine with Chord. Yeah, Chord had a killer body, but something about the way his character came across had made Chris okay with working on a romantic relationship between their characters. He was nerdy enough, so it made up for Chris’s lack of looks.

But then Ryan had come along, as usual, and changed everything. Before Chris knew it he was working opposite a down-right sinfully attractive guy in a school uniform with every Katy Perry hit single known to man up his sleeve. Getting to shoot scenes with and ultimately kiss an insanely attractive guy was a perk, but Chris knew he was going to drown next to him. Fade out. Darren had the kind of presence that made everyone else disappear into background noise.

So with that initial attitude paired with Darren’s incoherency whenever Chris was around, Chris was torn.

But there was his hand again, right up against Chris when they waited for the crew to set up a scene before they had to act it.

There was something different about Darren in those moments. It was subtle. Silent. But it spoke loudly inside of Chris. It urged them closer. It created something tangible that made itself clear whenever their eyes met across a room, whenever they acted a romantic scene together.

They had chemistry. Everyone noticed it.

As Darren got more and more screen-time on Glee, it made their relationship develop to actual conversations. Once it did, there was no way of stopping them. They could talk for hours about anything and everything. They rarely disagreed, and when they did one of them had a way of convincing the other to eventually agree.

They had a knack for shutting everything and everyone out of their own little bubble.

Everyone noticed it, but them.

~*~

Maybe that was the reason it turned into what it did.

When two people don’t acknowledge something that is so obviously there between them, it eventually makes them turn away from one another. It makes them search for what they want in the other person elsewhere, and it becomes an ugly cycle of confused jealousy and subtle-but-not ways of trying to justify those emotions.

“It was one date,” Chris said and shook his head. “I don’t even really like the guy. What’s the harm?”

Chris tried for a smile, but Darren was still sitting there with his knees tucked up to his chest, arms around his legs like a pissed off little puppy. Chris sighed without much emotion behind it and sat down next to Darren on the bed in his trailer.

“Then why are you in such a good mood?” Darren asked.

“What do you mean?” Chris said, trying to mimic Darren’s level of annoyance, but he smiled again in spite of himself.

“If you didn’t like him,” Darren explained, voice an almost incoherent grumble.

He stared down on the ground and this time Chris’s smile dropped.

“So what if I’m happy, Dare?” he asked carefully.

His voice was soft and small, but the question felt big. It weighed the room. The silence that followed was heated.

  
Eventually Chris bumped their shoulders, trying to shake some part of Darren that wasn’t closed-up and uncharacteristically angry out of him.

“You guys had sex,” Darren said matter-of-factly, completely ignoring Chris’s attempt.

He was so distant. Chris couldn’t feel Darren at all.

“Yeah,” Chris said solemnly. “We did.” Before he could stop himself he added, sarcastically: “You caught me.”

Darren didn’t react, and Chris huffed a sigh. He didn’t feel like smiling anymore. What was Darren’s deal, anyway, with trying to make him feel bad about something that had nothing to do with him? It didn’t make any sense. From time to time, Chris had to remind himself not to ask himself that, because those questions made him think of the answer. Or rather of what Chris wanted the answer to be.

“That doesn’t mean we’re going to be boyfriends,” Chris shrugged, trying again to pull Darren out of his mood. “I don’t have time for that.”

The response made Darren look at Chris in a way that made Chris feel a need to correct himself.

“I don’t want to  _make_  time for that. Not with him, anyway,” he re-phrased, and Darren’s features finally softened.

They softened, and Chris felt like smiling again. Darren’s knees unfolded from where they had been pressed up against his chest and rested his hand on top of the mattress. This time Chris put his hand next to Darren’s, skin brushing against skin yet again. There was reassurance there, and undertone of  _‘I’m not going anywhere’_  that needn’t be uttered.

“Did you hear they’re making a second The Last Airbender movie?” Darren asked, genuine interest and  _him_ finally back in his voice.

Chris slipped into the conversation easily without a second thought, grateful that Darren had decided to let whatever was bothering him go.

They hadn’t had a discussion. Something had happened there, but it was too subtle for either of them to act on.

~*~

The way their friendship dissolved and how the time they spent together minimized into when they filmed scenes on set, was mutual. It wasn’t what either of them wanted, but they had careers to keep up with. Tours to play at. Movies to write. And eventually, a boyfriend and a girlfriend that the media came to know and mostly love.

The people they settled for was just a way of trying to move on with their lives. The people they dated sufficed for a while, but only gave faint traces of what Chris and Darren knew they could have had.

Chris broke up with his boyfriend after just a year of them being in the public eye. He just couldn’t do it. The guy he was with hadn’t been worth it. By the end of season six of Glee, Chris felt lost in a sea of press junkets regarding the series ending of the show he’d been working with for seven years. He was going to leave the place that had kicked off his career, and his relationship with Darren, once and for all.

It was bittersweet. Chris felt as though it was time, like the entire cast had been waiting for this final nudge to get them out in the real world, properly this time. Chris still had a lump in his throat that oozed with regret, all of which included the ways him and Darren had let each other go. It was easy to let people slip through one’s fingers in a business like this, but the Chris from all those years ago would never have believed in a reality without Darren.

All that unresolved anger, all the tension, and the jealousy that Chris had tried to stave off came rushing at him when Darren brought his supposed girlfriend, Katie, to the very public ‘good bye to Glee’ dinner. Darren looked stunning on the red carpet with his black suit and a skinny tie. Chris felt weird and constricted in his.

It was the first time that Chris didn’t want to see Darren smile. He didn’t want him to stand there, with his arm around a pretty lady, and flash a grin for the cameras that seemed genuine. Chris had a hard time with considering the fact that Darren might actually enjoy this, without him.

Chris wasn’t left with much time to dwell on that, though. People came at him from every direction, asking questions and giving praise. By the end of the dinner, the heartfelt speeches started. Since Chris had played one of the show’s strongest characters, he spoke as well. During the time he spent up there in front of everyone, he tried his hardest to make his gaze travel across the room. He wanted everyone to feel included. He’d learned  _how_ to make everyone feel included. But his eyes kept landing on Darren, and the way that he was looking at Chris the entire time. His eyes were glued to him, and Darren looked so contemplative that Chris wasn’t sure whether or not he noticed that he was staring right back.

By the end of the night, Chris felt just as emotional as the next person. There had been times when he felt like Glee held him back. There had been times when he couldn’t deal with some of the things he had to put up with when working with the show. But for all it was worth, Glee was home. The crew, the cast, and the writers were his family. After so many years, bonds that used to be tight had loosened, but Chris would always keep a special place in his heart stored away for the show that made him believe in himself.

When the musical numbers started, Chris glanced over at Darren’s table. Darren made a poor attempt at holding back the tears, and by now his eyes were puffy red. Chris knew he had something prepared as well, and he itched to go over to say hi, to say ‘break a leg’, just to say something. But Chris stayed put. Lea was singing her heart out on stage, and in spite of everything Chris was taken with the performance.

It wasn’t until Chris noticed a stir in his peripheral vision that he turned his gaze away from Lea and the choir. Darren was getting up from his chair, excusing himself quietly. At first Chris thought Darren was going to prepare for going on stage, but he went the opposite direction from where the other performers were headed. Chris quirked an eyebrow, the itch returning. He should go after him.

When Darren opened the back door, not going to the bathroom or anything, Chris got up. It was during a standing ovation, so he could leave quietly, subtly.

It wasn’t like Darren to just leave like that. Chris had to do something, and no one else seemed to notice that something was going on. Chris made his way through the crowds of people until he was at the large backdoor of the hall. He took a breath. The sounds of applause and people talking and hooting roared in his ears. He opened up the door and walked outside.

It was like putting the TV on mute. Once the door closed behind him, there was only a faint muffle of the large crowds of people inside, and Chris was grateful for the moment of silence. Darren noticed as soon as the door opened, turning his head when he heard the sudden noise where he was standing at the side of the building, alone.

“Chris?” Darren asked.

There was hardly any lights at this part of the building. Dark shadows cast over them. Stars sprinkled the dark sky.

“Yeah, it’s me,” Chris said as he walked closer.

Darren audibly swallowed and looked down on the ground. Chris tilted his head in question.

“What’s wrong?” Chris asked, his heart beating harder. “You’re up soon.”

“Yeah, I know, I’m fine,” Darren said, but his voice was shaking. “It’s alright. I’ll— I’ll see you inside.”

Darren looked back at Chris for a split second before he averted his gaze. He stared down on the concrete. Chris was hit by waves of unease. Even though they hadn’t been close in a while, he could tell that Darren wasn’t feeling well.

“Darren,” Chris said softly.

He took another two steps closer, until their arms were touching. Chris brushed the back of his hand against Darren’s without even thinking about it, and Darren looked up immediately. It was like he was shaken out of something, his discomfort turning into something Chris couldn’t pinpoint. His brows furrowed sadly.

“Hey,” Chris said, leaning in closer and speaking in a hushed tone. “Talk to me.”

“It’s just been,” Darren sighed, “a hell of a night, y’know?”

Darren pressed closer to Chris where they were standing shoulder to shoulder. Chris’s heart thrilled with the intimacy of it.

“Yeah,” Chris agreed, moving his knuckles against Darren’s.

Darren exhaled shakily. All Chris could hear was the sound of his own heart, beating and pounding inside his head. He felt woozy with it, but he didn’t want to stop. He could stay like this. He didn’t want to go back inside yet. He couldn’t.

Darren stretched his fingers so that they touched Chris’s. Chris’s hand almost jerked away on instinct, but after the initial tensing of muscles he relaxed, and let Darren’s fingers lock with his.

As he looked up into Chris’s eyes, Chris realized what they were projecting. It was want, lust, love and  _please don’t leave._ Chris stared back, and just as Darren’s bottom lip began to tremble Chris leaned in and pressed up his lips against it.

Darren jerked away immediately, and Chris’s heart stopped for a second, verging to drop. But Darren was staring at him with so much weighing his gaze, confusion turning into an understanding, and Chris only had time to blink before Darren leaned back in.

He kissed back with so much force and confidence that Chris almost thought that he’d expected it. Their hands were still locked as they kissed, closed mouth and on-center. Chris felt so sure in that moment. He felt sure of himself, of Darren, of everything else. His heart was beating its approval. This was what he wanted. Chris had been lost for so long, and here they were. All of his insecurities and doubts shattered with just one assured kiss.

Sometimes, just one moment can put everything you thought you couldn’t keep track of back in your control.

Chris had been fighting the wrong fight for too long.

As the kiss ended, Chris stayed close to Darren. Darren’s lids hooded darkly over his eyes as he watched Chris’s lips. Chris squeezed Darren’s hand, which made him look up into his eyes again and there was just so much between them. An assurance. It was like everything had been leading up to this moment, and Chris felt stupid for not realizing that this was what he had wanted all along.

“We better go back inside,” Chris whispered. “You have a song to sing.”

“Go out with me,” was Darren’s immediate response.

Chris looked at Darren sceptically.

“Aren’t you—?”

“No, no, no,” Darren said, shaking his head hurriedly. “She’s just a friend.”

Chris took a steadying breath. That was unexpected.

“Please,” Darren said, reminding Chris of where he was.

He moved to stand in front of Chris, and put his hands on Chris’s waist. Chris blinked.

“Okay,” Chris finally responded, and he couldn’t help but smile giddily.

Darren smiled back, one of the hands on Chris’s waist going up to cup his cheek. Chris leaned into the touch, closing his eyes. Before he opened them again, Darren’s lips were back on his, and in that moment Chris was content with how things had panned out. This was the closeness he’d yearned for.

Darren’s, and nobody else’s.

~*~

It took over a week until Chris and Darren got together again. A week of post-Glee interviews and ‘remember when’s that at first left Chris nostalgic, but after the sixth interview the questions circled back to ones he’d already answered so many times, and it made him answer on autopilot as he zoned out and thought about what was coming for him next.

A week ago he would have thought about his close to finished movie script, but as of the past few days the only thing he could see was Darren, and the world that had opened up when he kissed back. Whenever Chris thought about it, a secret little smile stretched his lips, and made him endure whatever lazy question the interviewer had thrown at him.

The best moments were when the cast and crew had their last few get-togethers, and Chris and Darren’s eyes met from where they were in the room. That was when the secret smiled was shared, Darren knew, and Chris’s palms started to sweat a little bit. No one around them knew what was going on with them, but for now that was how they wanted things to be. They could wait it out. They could keep apart for a little longer.

The text Chris received the morning after his final post-Glee event brought back the energy the past months had drained him of.

_Do you have anything today? Xx_

Chris was still in bed, and he stretched his arms above his head and smiled genuinely. Darren.

_Do now. When do you wanna meet up?_

Darren’s response came quickly.

_Five or six-ish? I can cook us something._

Now that Chris could definitely work with, as if just seeing Darren wasn’t enough.

_I’m so down._

_Great!_

The second response came just a couple of seconds later.

_I’ve missed you._

Chris’s heart felt as though it was about to explode with affection. He just stared at that text for a minute before he sat up in the bed and took a deep breath, typing out his response.

_Miss you too. Xxx_

~*~

Going to Darren’s house felt oddly familiar when it came down to it. Chris hadn’t been there in a long, long while. But as he walked up from his car to the front door, it felt like the time passed since his last visit had just been a dull, unimportant passage that had been waiting for this moment. When Darren greeted Chris by the door, it was like every other time. A close hug that sent tingles through Chris’s body. Darren’s genuine smile as they parted. Chris was surprised at the familiarity of it, since something between them had changed when they kissed at the Glee party. Maybe none of their feelings had changed. Maybe this was what they had been all along, just without the prominent physical part of it.

Darren had made lasagna. He brought out a bottle of red wine and lit three candles that alighted the dim kitchen. They slipped into conversation easily as Darren prepared the table, but once they sat down to eat something in Darren’s facial expression changed. Maybe not changed as much as Chris finally noticed it, but the difference of mood was there. Chris had a hard time to keep at task when Darren just looked at him like that, his skin tone beautifully complimented by the candles, his dark eyes tingling the way only Darren’s could. Even though they talked casually, every now and again Chris would catch Darren staring at him like that, and his insides thrummed with it.

“This is delicious,” Chris said when they were about to finish the food.

He sipped his wine. His body felt buzzy and comfortable, but Chris suspected it was only partly because of the alcohol. The way Darren sat there, the way he looked as he watched Chris drink, was definitely a larger factor to Chris’s mood.

“Thank you,” Darren said, smiling shyly.

A moment of silence, but the chemistry between their locked gazes made neither of them consider the time passing quiet.

“Chris,” Darren said finally, and there was a change in his tone.

He was bracing himself. Addressing Chris’s name was just a moment to stall, to figure out what he’d say and whether to say it. Chris raised his eyebrows a little bit, swallowing the last piece of his food.

“I’m sorry,” Darren murmured, eyes downcast. Chris’s heart stopped for a moment. “I’ve been… I haven’t been treating you right.”

Chris brows furrowed in confusion.

“What’d you mean?” Chris asked. “We haven’t… You don’t have to apologize for anything.”

“I’ve loved you for a long time, Chris,” Darren said. “And I haven’t been acting the part.”

Chris closed his mouth and just looked at Darren. Darren finally stared back, and Chris’s body tingled.

“I knew…,” Darren said, but stopped.

Darren stood up from his chair and Chris followed. Darren took Chris’s hand in his. They came close to each other like a magnetism had drawn them together, and Chris looked at Darren seriously. He felt bad that Darren was so apologetic, but hearing him say the words was so different from feeling it. Chris knew Darren loved him. But the way Darren said it meant something else. He  _loved_ him, in every sense of the word.

Darren took a steadying breath.

“I knew I’d fall for you the moment I met you,” he said, and squeezed Chris’s hand. “I knew.”

Chris swallowed, his heart picking up and beating hard inside his chest. He blinked rapidly. Darren exhaled, looking away again, his tongue slipping out and wetting his lips. Chris’s hand went up to cup Darren’s cheek automatically, angling him before Chris leaned in and pushed their lips together. Darren reciprocated, wrapped his arms around Chris’s waist and hummed against Chris’s lips. Wet sounds filled the room, and those paired with how Darren’s mouth and tongue felt against Chris’s made his cock fill and harden in his pants.

“I didn’t act on it,” Darren said when they parted for air. “At first. I wanted to, but… I didn’t think you…

“I do,” Chris said. “I do, Darren.”

Darren blinked up at him, and in that moment he looked so small. For a long time, Chris thought he’d been on his own when he felt what he did for Darren. He had never even dared to pinpoint his emotions, to fully experience them, and here Darren was. Open and honest and feeling just as much as Chris.

“You were an adorable, shy little boy and I,” Chris smiled, “I wanted to be around you all the time. I still do.”

Darren pressed his lips together as he smiled. His eyes looked wet, but maybe it was just the lighting of the room. Maybe.

“And you,” Chris leaned in to press a warm kiss to Darren’s lips, “you were so hot. If I had known you even could feel anything for me I would have-”

“What?” Darren asked urgently, but something about his tone made Chris aware that he wasn’t asking for innocent romance.

“I would have fucked you a lot sooner than now,” Chris said.

Darren blinked.

“You’re gonna-?” he asked, eyes going dark as his eyes went from watching Chris’s lips up to his eyes.

“Yeah,” Chris said, and stroked Darren’s cheek with the back of his hand. “If you’d let me.”

Darren responded with a firm kiss to Chris’s mouth. Chris hummed, pressing and taking, lips parting and Darren’s wet tongue finding his. They moved into the bedroom, kiss unbroken as they sat down on the bed and Darren worked on Chris’s zipper. Chris moaned just from the faint brush of Darren’s knuckles over his clothed erection, and Darren nuzzled into the crook of Chris’s neck when he finally pulled him out.

He stroked Chris’s shaft slowly and Chris undid the buttons on Darren’s shirt, mouth going to suck at the exposed chest. They were thrumming with warmth and arousal. It didn’t take long until they were both completely naked, Chris on top of Darren as they rocked together, cocks aligned and mouths attached.

Darren wrapped his arms around Chris’s neck, wrapped his legs around Chris’s back, and just went with Chris’s movements. It sent sparks to Chris’s limbs, to be trapped in Darren’s grip, but knowing that he was ultimately in charge of what they were doing. He could do quick thrusts or he could go painfully slow. It was up to him, and as Darren pulled back just to look at Chris while they moved together Chris knew that that was exactly what Darren wanted as well. His eyes tingled, long eyelashes casting shadows down his cheeks. Chris’s heart thundered as he leaned back down and kissed Darren’s strong neck tenderly. He brushed his lips over it, and it made Darren squirm, fighting to keep himself pliant.

Chris pulled back with a smile.

“You really like that, don’t you?” he asked, and leaned back down to trace the spot with his tongue.

Darren’s response came out in moans mixed with  _yes,_ and Chris groaned. He sucked harder now, pushing harder with more purpose until Darren was moaning louder for every thrust. The sound was music to Chris’s ears, those whimpers and pleas that seemed to escape Darren’s lips without much thought behind it. They were just genuine. Darren was so turned on and he wanted so much, and Chris could barely breathe with the effort it took for him to not just fuck harder into it now that their pre cum slick erections moved so perfectly with one another. Darren’s dick was thick and big next to Chris’s, granting friction that would drive Chris so far over the edge.

Darren’s moans turned higher in pitch, and Chris could feel him harden between their stomachs, could feel him come closer to that edge. Chris thrust harder accordingly. Steady and hard, pace picking up more and more for every push, as Chris tended to Darren’s sensitive neck.

It didn’t take long for Darren to tense up, for his face to scrunch, for a big breath to release out of him as he shot a big load between the two of them. Chris was about to keep going, to chase and find release himself, but Darren stopped him.

“No,” he said quickly, putting a hand on Chris’s chest and pushing. “Just… let me..”

Chris let Darren push him off him and sat down on the bed. He was almost embarrassed by how his cock strained upwards, the fat head of his cock wet and and deep red. But Darren stared at him with so much admiration, a down-right  _hunger_ , so Chris just leaned back against the headboard and let Darren lean down and take him in his mouth.

Chris was squirming already, muscles tensing and relaxing in a way that was almost uncomfortable as Darren bobbed up and down, his tongue playing with his slit. But it wasn’t until Darren put pressure to Chris’s tight, come filled balls that he couldn’t take it any longer. The sensation was too much, the build-up would have been enough to make him come a long time ago if Darren hadn’t stopped him, and then Chris only managed to breathe out a quick warning,  _“Gonna come, gonna come!”_ before he came down Darren’s throat. Hips pushed up, hands gripping Darren’s hair, load filling Darren’s mouth.

When Darren pulled off and sat up next to him, licking his come-stained lips and fucking _swallowing_ , Chris let out a laugh. Darren smiled, eyebrows raising, and then he kissed Chris quickly. Chris released a breath.

“How the fuck did we wait?” Darren asked, shifting on the bed and tucking himself into Chris’s side. “I’ve wanted this…”

“Yeah,” Chris nodded. “I don’t know. I’ve been… so fucking stupid. I’m…”

“Hey, no,” Darren said quickly. “You’re not stupid. You didn’t know.”

“And what does that say about me?” Chris asked, shaking his head a little, but he was still smiling.

He was too happy about tonight’s turn of events that he didn’t have it in him to be fully, genuinely sorry for the past few years at the moment.

“It wouldn’t have been good anyway,” Darren said. “With us working together and everything. It’s fine.”

Chris nodded. If the way they felt about each other had been vocalized earlier, it surely would have complicated things a lot more than now. Chris looked at Darren a little bit before he said,

“I knew, too, by the way,” he said.

“Knew what?” Darren asked, brows furrowing.

“That I’d fall for you.”

Darren said nothing. Chris smiled and leaned in, kissing him again. Darren melted against him.

“I love you, Chris,” Darren whispered, and tucked his face into the crook of his neck.

Chris traced his hand up and down Darren’s chest. His heart swelled inside his chest.

“I love you, too,” he murmured.

It had started with a brush of hands and a look that spoke, about four years ago. It had taken them all that time to end up in Darren’s bed, tucked into one another. Time of confusion, and not knowing, and time apart.

Neither of them felt sorry for the way things had turned out as they fell asleep that night. Those four years wouldn’t mean much in the end because, when it came down to it, they had so much time left. They had all the time in the world to make up for what the past years had been missing. That assurance brought tingles to Chris where he slept next to Darren. It made him smile in his sleep. Glee was over, a new chapter of his life was about to start, and he had never been happier.

\- The End.


End file.
